Edgar tilt his head side to side, “H-hello there stranger! My name is Edgar Gore but you can call me E for short.” He smiled and got uncomfortable close to the strange boy. “You smoke? I never saw anyone smoke before! I remember my teachers told me it was bad.”
Lampwick looked around just in time to get a face full of the strange kid - he himself was taller, sure, but that didn’t count for much when the guy was practically stepping on his toes. Geez, it was like he’d never heard of personal space or somethin!
Aw well; it was time to use a little trick he’d learned from experience.
Lampwick took a long drag from his cigar, lowered it from his mouth, and blew a cloud of smoke directly into the kid’s face. That’d be enough to make him back off, right?
“‘Course I smoke!” Lampwick addressed him, casually slipping the cigar back between his clenched teeth, “Them teachers only say it’s bad, ‘cause they’re crummy adults who wanna hog all the good stuff! Yer gonna go nowheres quick if ya keep on listenin’ ta everythin’ adults say t’ya, Ed.”
You know what’s real neat? Coloring! An’ since I love coloring so much, anyone who reblogs this will get a real neat crayon picture just for them!
"Aw yeah? Go ahead - DO YER WORST, PAL!"
((ashdjdkk how did I let this message get so buried in my inbox?? DD: but I thank you SO much for your kind words, anon! *insert a LET ME LOVE YOUU gif here haha* Wowee, does it make me happy to know Lampy is one of someone’s favs, too, ‘cause you’re right - he totally needs more lovee!<333)
Truth: My character will tell you what they think of yours in all honesty.
"Honestly, Pinoke? I like havin’ ya around. No matter what I wanna do, yer pretty much always open ta try it and it’s great, cuz we get to have a lot of fun that way! I don’t think I’ve ever had as much fun prankin’ with anyone else, ‘cause they just don’t take orders the same way you do, they don’t listen ta me… I mean, sure, ya ask a lotta questions, but the truth is I kinda like it - even if I dunno the answer, I get ta make it up. Heck, it could be the looniest thing, but ya STILL believe me! I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone more gullible or innocent than you, pal… Sometimes, it gets on my noirves a bit, but at the end of the day, there’s no other guy I’d like to kick back and share the sweets we stole from the bakery with. Yer… the best friend I’ve ever had, Pinoke - don’t ever change, arright?”
Lampwick rubbed his neck and looked away from the puppet boy, a little pink under his freckles.
"Aw, phooey… I - I dunno what came over me just then, Pinoke! I meant it, but sheesh if that wasn’t the mushiest speech I ever… eh, let’s just go toss rocks at some rich jerk’s windows or somethin’! C’mon!"
AU: I will write an AU drabble with my character and yours.
((Based on the AU with Aimee-ma and Lampy-son))
Lampwick closed one eye, his tongue poking out between his overlarge front teeth as he concentrated. He’d found some pretty swell pebbles for his slingshot and he’d been aching for a good target to test them on. He was certain that if he aimed just right, that powdery wig would come clean off. Lampwick was crouched just behind the corner of an alleyway, well out of sight; Norrington would never know what hit ‘em! Lampwick snickered as he pulled the sling back a little more; any second he could let go and—
"I wouldn’t do zat eef I were you, chere."
Lampwick froze; his eyes flicked to the blonde woman looming over his shoulder, a faint frown etched into her fair features. He quickly dropped his hands, but he knew it was too late to hide the slingshot.
"Ma! I- uh, was just, ehm… yer all done shoppin, huh? Boy, that was quick!" She was clutching a bag of groceries to her hip. "Need help carryin’ them or somethin’?" Lampwick added, grinning sheepishly.
"Non. I’m not an eembecile, Lampweeck - I saw what you were doeenk—"
'Aw, boy, here it comes,' Lampwick thought, dropping his eyes to the ground, bracing himself for a scolding.
"—and while I don’t approve, I haff to say, for a boy who spends so much time with heez sleengshot, your technique needs work."
Lampwick looked up quickly as the slingshot was yanked from his grasp. Aimee had set the groceries on the ground and now crouched beside him; with an air of nonchalance, she snatched a pebble from the ground and fitted it into the sling.
"For one theeng, chere, we do not close both eyes when we aim - if we want a good shot, both eyes must be open, oui?"
Lampwick nodded, still mute with surprise, but a slow smile spreading across his face.
"Good. Now, then -"
Aimee explained a few more of the finer points of marksmanship, Lampwick listening more closely than he’d ever listened to anyone, all the while his mind was still reeling over the fact that Aimee - his Ma - was practically an expert on a topic that interested him so.
Lampwick was right about one thing; Norrington’s wig came sailing off as beautifully as a kite on the wind. And he’d never seen it coming. Lampwick and Aimee covered their giggles and pressed their backs against the alley wall, unseen.
Norrington was still complaining about the wind when they waltzed up to him a minute later, mother and son sharing secret cheshire cat smiles.
Wine: For the drunken phone-call/text
[12:30] ma pinoke n i rboke into norris privte winestorez
[12:31] its rly funy ma his nsoe is liek 10ft llong lol
[12:33] btwdo uthink uculd distrat norri forabit???
[12:33] i dont tthikn he cna fit thru teh dooor ha
((these are based on an AU where Norrington is Lampwick’s father and Aimee (red bimbette) is his mom))
Break: My character will greatly upset yours.
Alright, so maybe it hadn’t been such a great idea to practice his juggling in the house, but if Lampwick didn’t perfect his technique now, then he wouldn’t have an act and if he didn’t have an act, then how else could he hope to join the circus?? It wasn’t like he had ears big enough to fly or something else that would get him a free pass into the joint.
"You are not a CLOWN, Lampwick! You’re a young boy who’s going to school and getting an education so he can grow up and become a respectable hardworking member of society and that’s that!" Norrington growled, shaking a finger in the boy’s freckled face to enunciate his point.
"Pfft, c’mon! It was just a little booze I smashed - s’not like you can’t get more."
"A little- a little?! It was TWO entire shelves, boy! And wine doesn’t just grow on trees!”
"Ya mean ta tell me that grapes don’t grow on trees??"
Norrington face palmed; Lampwick grinned, ever the wise guy.
"Well, no, grapes grow on vines, idiot— but don’t you see?? That’s why you need to stay in school!” Norrington sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, attempting to calm himself down, “Lampwick, do you understand how much all of that cost us?”
"Eh, don’t sweat it, old man - just take it outta my allowance or somethin’—"
"YOU DON’T HAVE ALLOWANCE!”
Oops: I will write our characters getting into some trouble.
"I gotta hand it to ya, old man: this is some swell bonding time alright! You, me, a sinking boat - yer gonna hafta take me fishin’ way more often!"
"Oh, shut up - sarcasm isn’t going to help me row, boy!"
"Yeah, yeah, keep yer wig on already… This, uh, prolly ain’t a good time to tell ya I can’t swim, huh?"
Boy, what a view!
Lampwick pushed up the brim of his large, luxurious pirate hat as he gazed eagerly at the expanse of wide blue ocean stretching out to both horizons before him. Even if he was barely tall enough to see over the railing on the top deck of the large ship, he’d never felt so exhilarated and in control as he did when he sailed under the skull and crossbones.
As far as the nine year old was concerned, slipping onto the pirate ship docked in the harbor was the best decision he’d ever made. Sure, Lampwick had been caught pretty quickly once they’d discovered all the half eaten fruit laying about the cargo bay, but lucky for him, they’d realized how great a guy he was and rather than walk the plank, they made him their captain! Imagine that - Captain Lampwick, leader of the roughest, toughest pirate crew on the seas! All he’d needed was some fancy clothing, an eyepatch, a good n’ sharp sword, maybe a talking parrot - but of course the crew had been too happy to oblige.
Yup, Lampwick was all set for a life of pillaging and plundering on the open sea without a care in the world! No more boring schooldays or getting scolded by the cops for throwing rocks, just he and his crew, drinking, smoking, and singing day in and day out, enjoying the spoils of their—
The cannon ball came out of nowhere and crashed into the main mast, nearly splitting it in two. Lampwick fell on his bottom as the deck shuddered violently from the force and the boisterous song of his men turned to yells and panicked curses.
BOOM BOOM BOOM!!
Each successive cannon ball smashed clean through the ship; the pirates scrambled about in chaos, some attempting to organize the canons for a return fire, others simply abandoning ship by the sounds of the splashes. Lampwick was quivering from head to toe as he pushed himself up and skidded to the railing — who would dare attack a pirate ship? HIS ship no less?
And that’s when Lampwick saw him - a tall man with a wig white as a ghost and a brow furrowed with hatred, his eyes hard and soulless as pool balls. He was standing at the bow of his own ship, which was so large that it ripped the clouds as it charged towards them, a massive dark muddle of rain and thunder pouring out of the tear and seeping into the blueness of the sky and sea.
But the man was looking straight at him still, thin lips curled into a snarl and suddenly he was towering over Lampwick, the heel of the monster’s pointed boot digging into the child’s chest, bony fingers drawing out a wicked blade with chilling ease, the sharp cries of pirate slaughter and roaring thunder a harsh noise in his young ears—
Lampwick woke up sobbing. It would be a long time before he would play Pirates again. Too bad. It’d been one of his favorite games…
*Gideon laughs as the boy became upset by the apple. He then notices the.tree shaking. He looks down and see the boy climbing up the tree. He panics and looks for a place to hide but he finds no place. He then remembers he has his mallet. He pulls it out and holds it, waiting for the.boy to come close enough.*
*climbs further up the tree, his view quite obscured by branches and leaves; then, when he gets close enough, he freezes at the sight of the cat holding what looks like a large mallet*
"Whoa whoa whoa! No fair!" *holds up his hands, legs clinging to a branch a little ways form the cat* "Where’d that thing come from??”